In the last week, I’ve submitted my first grant application.
It’s no mean feat, yet here I am with a New Author substack, and you are only just hearing about it.
Why?
That is what I am asking myself.
6 days ago, I submitted over 4,000 words, an activity plan and a financial breakdown in an attempt to gain a grant through the ‘Developing Your Creative Practice’ scheme designed to support “development opportunities for individual cultural and creative practitioners based in England”.
It’s a big deal for me.
I’ve never done anything like this before.
I procrastinated and sat on it longer than I would have liked, despite getting it submitted 2 days before the deadline.
It could mean I get paid to write 3 days a week for 3 months.
I could stop worrying about covering the bills and focus on writing.
I could learn when to use an apostrophe, use Scrivener and even create a style sheet.
I could give myself a fighting chance of producing something worth reading.
I want this.
I want my words to resonate, to move, to touch the hearts and guts of another.
Maybe I am scared.
Perhaps there is a fear that is easier to swallow if it’s less public.
Honestly?
It’s an excellent application.
I should get a grant.
I did the best I could.
I totally meet the brief.
I want this.
Please.
I want this.